This article focuses on the African American male and female relationship dilemma and contemporary. Although considerable attention has been given to the socioeconomic crisis of African American men in this country, relatively little attention has focused on the related crisis between African American women (Parham & Mc Davis). Black women have a strong bond, solidarity in married. In addition, they ethnic and values shaped their cultural, political and social life. Counselor recognized that African American women are very a diverse group and their socioeconomic status may modify the role they play in a relationship (Staple (1993). The historical perspective of this journal view of African American men/ women are very different for Caucasian. During slavery, black men was stripped of their human equal rights and was not allowed to voice any views concerning their family. Black women on the other hand was forced to comply with having sex with white men. While white women was considered to be pure and protected.
Today African American men are confronting increased risk of death by violent crime, more contact with the judicial system, imprisonment, decreased opportunities for educational advancement, unemployment and underemployment (Parham & McDavis 1987). This dilemma
forces African American women to go out and seek a partner that’s economically, financially situated, attractive and structured to provide for their family. In reality black men with poverty level are least likely to marry and most likely to face contemporary issues. Those who have high level of education are able to pursue a normal life without facing dissolutions. A higher level of education make African American women feel more secure in a marriage relationship. In reality both African American men and African American women both face unique rejection in a relationship. African American men today seen to want a relationship with woman that can hold there our and care for them as well. African American women has become the bread winning in providing for their husband and children. Some father are consider stay home dads caring for the children. Counselors found through informal counseling interviews that both men and women “feel lonely, sad scared about the lack of stable relationships with opposite sex partners (Chapman 1988). African American men will most likely choose white women to be in a stable relationship. Ultimately because of stability, more education, in dependable, and financially stabilization. African American women often resent this mix of relationship, grieving that they are not affectionate enough for an African American men.
An effective counselor need to assess the enthusiasm of black women. The areas will include attention to grief and loss, enhancing effective communication and confronting negative stereotypes. Many African women date to receive that intimacy feeling. It makes women more unperceptive to the modification of the dating experience. Once the dating process is over it is difficult for them to understand the loss of interest they partner has concerning them. This can also be a devastating loss and cause grieving. Most African American women view their single status as a forced choice based on diminishing opportunities to develop relationships with African American men Staples 1993).